Tomorrow my Dad returns to CHOMP for his second cardio-conversion. What is a cardio-conversion you might ask? I only recently – well last year sometime – learned about such procedures when it became evident that not only did my Dad have high blood pressure but also a tachycardia, or a racing pulse, and atrial fibrillation. He was rushed immediately to the ER and there he stayed under observation for several days. They cardio-converted, or tranquilized and then paddled him, hoping to jumpstart his heart back to the more familiar thump-thump of the previous sixty-five years. No luck however – he has continued to struggle with the exhaustive effects of an ineffective heart beat. Tomorrow morning he goes in for round two…

The experience of seeing my strong and vibrant Dad in a hospital gown, wired and tubed, vulnerable and hooked to monitors and machines brings a rush of emotion. It stirs a real and poignant sense of the preciousness life. As I imagine many have felt, I want to greedily gobble up every moment with loved ones. I want to be wise and compassionate and supportive. Mostly I find myself clinging to the experience of life… Time to reevaluate my spiritual practices!

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