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I lost my kitten Friday morning. Olivia was almost six months old. We had made a deal. I promised her her freedom. She got to live her best life. We live on the edge of the woods. Predators abound. I wanted to keep her in. I worried whenever she was out. Coyotes. Bobcats. Mountain lions. So many big animals eager to enjoy a tender kitten snack. Warm, balmy nights glazed in silver moonlight. She has been particularly restless. Friday morning just before dawn I let her out to play. She was on the deck when I heard it. A large animal. Another deer? And then I heard her little meow. Surprised and then distressed. I flew out of the loft where I had been reading. Outside I caught the last of the crashing as a large critter bounded off into the woods. Quiet. No Olivia. No! No more Olivia.

Devastation.

But I had promised her. Freedom. A rich and joyful life. Rather than confinement, she had a happy cat life. Still all I wanted to do was cry… I have the BEST friends!!! Big hugs, kind words, texts, gentle love… Thank you!!!  The attention has been really helpful!!!

I went away. That was helpful too. Denial? Distance? I pretended it wasn’t real. I purposefully ignored the empty Dream Boat. No feline friend awaiting my return. I enjoyed an entirely lovely weekend. Sister time. Friend time. Adventures in the North Bay. Massage appointments in the East Bay. Perfectly relaxing. Restorative. Abundant. And then it was time to go home.

Little angel of laughter and light…. I love you.

The Dream Boat feels so quiet and empty.

Do you have pets?

What lifts you up when you are feeling down?

How do you take care of yourself when you are feeling sad?


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